Bulan Bintang & Matahari

I am not a star. I am not even close to be the Sun. I am not able to reflect light from the Sun when night comes. I am only a traveller who is wandering around this small world, doing little business, living small history. But I have a " Bulan Bintang & Matahari" consist of me, him, and our little Kaylia. That is what I call my universe : bulan bintang dan matahari.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Something about Friendship

Jakarta, 10 Februari 2005, Muharram 1st, our NewYear

Dear Kaylia,
Ini surat Ibu yang pertama buat kamu. Mungkin kamu baru tau kalo Ibu hobi banget nulis surat. Siapa aja dikirimin surat. Nggak bisa liat orang laen jauhan dikit, langsung maunya kirim surat. Tapi itu dulu. It suddenly stopped when I began pregnant with you. Bukannya kenapa-kenapa sih, tapi kebetulan aja waktu itu Ibu sering banget enek, sakit perut, pusing, dan ngerasa capeeek banget. Trus kebetulan juga Ibu ngerasa nggak ada yang bisa Ibu tulisin di lembaran kertas itu kecuali tentang kamu. Tapi ternyata menuliskan tentang kamu pun nggak mampu Ibu lakuin. Semua sel dalam otak Ibu kayanya nggak bergerak selama 1,5 taun ini. Lumayan kesel juga sih, kok bolot banget. Tapi kemudian Ibu mengambil kesimpulan bahwa kamu terlalu indah untuk diuraikan dengan kata-kata. Hihiihi…

Sekarang kamu udah hampir 8 bulan. Udah pinter lempar-lempar bola (dan barang lainnya termasuk pajangan Philadelphia dari temen Ibu, hiks…). Ibu anggap itu salah satu tanda kamu berbakat jadi pitcher softball atau shooter di lapangan basket. Kamu juga udah pinter teriak-teriak, waaah, calon penyanyi terkenal nih kayaknya. Trus keseriusan kamu nguyek-nguyek buku, Ibu simpulkan sebagai awal yang baik bagi anak cerdas yang cinta ilmu. Meski kesimpulan-kesimpulan di atas itu masih terlalu dini tapi Ibu sangat percaya sama kamu. I have faith in you, honey….

Satu hal yang agak mengkhawatirkan adalah keagresifan kamu sama temen-temen kamu. Kamu pasti akan keilangan banyak temen kalo hobi menjambak rambut dan mencakar-cakar muka itu tidak segera dihentikan. Sama temen itu harus saling sayang dan nggak boleh galak.

Let me tell you something about true friend. Honestly, I don’t have so many good friends in this world. It is not that I’m picky or something. I want everybody to be my friend. But I believe in law of nature. The survivals are ones who have passed through bad times over good times. A lot of things might happen along the way, dear. You might loose your friends in so many ways. Death, distance, personal business, separate neighborhood, different life style, gap of social level, anything… but unbreakable anger, distrust or unsolved disappointment. Thank God, the last three never happened to me.

One of my very very best friend is the one I allow to read this letter right now. She’s something, you know, hon… I knew her for the first time along my third semester, almost 11 years ago. We worked together as partner in our Statistic experiments. I didn’t know it would be the beginning of our lifetime relationship. What I can tell you about her is that she’s an honest person, a smart hard-worker, a reliable friend, a funny creature and easysome to be with . There weren’t all. There were only things enganged to physical closeness, I knew because I was with her until my graduation.

Something unseen and untold before is much more special : she does inspire me. Whether she knows it or not, she gives me more than I expect. She shows me the value of unconditional love, the joy of laughing, the meaning of helping other, and the beauty of saying a pray without our name mentioned in it. She said once that praying for someone else teaches us to not being selfish and feeling too bad about ourselves.

As we grew up, we knew that we were not the same person we had been years before. We rarely meet and every time we hang out together again, we realize that we have changed. Yes, we surely have changed.

She is not the one I spent 17 hours a day with, just like 11 years ago. She wears different clothing. She has new hair style now. She is busier than before. She grows. Of course I get 7 pounds extra from my pregnancy with you so I think I am in growth, too. I’m losing my hair because the mother hormone. I am busy too, getting back to my daily routine at the office. Oh man, we hardly saying hello even once a week !

But they don’t change anything between us. She still has the same heart inside. She was beside me through a lot of teamwork matters during college. She was there when I walked to my “sidang” room. She was in my bed the night before my wedding day. She was the first person I messaged the day the doctor said you had already inside me. I sent her a message that I was in the hospital and ready to give you a birth. She was there, on your first night at home. She was everywhere my important things happened, never missed one.

She changed, yes. But she will be as fun as I remember. She will be the same tough person I knew. She will be as good friend as I had since 1994. I just hope that she will think the same way about me.

That’s what a friend means to me, my dear Kaylia. Please tell her how much I thank her for being such a great friend if you meet her someday. And I am sorry that I couldn't always be there when she (might) needed me.

Ibu doakan agar dimanapun kamu berada kamu bisa menemukan orang seperti dia. Perlu banyak keberuntungan untuk menemukan dan usaha untuk mempertahankannya. Sebagai tahap pertama, maukah kamu mempertimbangkan Ibu untuk jadi temen kamu ? Sebagai temen, Ibu nggak jelek-jelek banget kok. Kita bisa nyanyi bareng, ngaji bareng, maen bareng, mengkhayal bareng, ngobrol, jalan-jalan, nonton, makan, belanja. Dan untuk jadi temen yang seperti temen Ibu itu, Ibu masih harus belajar banyak karena persahabatan adalah suatu proses panjang.

Kayanya segini dulu surat Ibu. Kapan-kapan Ibu sambung lagi.Sekarang Ibu udah ngantuk. Oh ya, selamat tahun baru Islam ya !!! Ayo sama-sama kita jadikan hidup ini lebih bermakna dengan berbagi bening cinta.

Salam sayang,

Ibu.

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